THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR IN SURGERY

- Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

- "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness!"

- Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

- Hand me that ... uh ... that uh..... thingie

- Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?

- There go the lights again...

- "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys… and this guy's got two of'em.

- Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

- Could you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off.

- What's this doing here?

- I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.

- That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!

- Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

- Sterile, shcmerile. The floor's clean, right?

- The “5-second rule” applies to organs, too – right?

- What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change...

- “Oh, you mean HIS right…”

- OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.

- This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?

- Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?

- Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

- What do you mean "You want a divorce"!?!

- FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!

- Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!